Checklisting Europe | When To Walk Alone

Checklisting Europe | When To Walk Alone

You wish to get out and go somewhere, but you won’t because you don’t have anyone with whom to travel.

You can comfortably pull off whatever needed at home all by yourself, but for some reason, you hesitate when it comes to soloing out into the world.

The need to travel with someone else is something I still wrap my head to understand.

A friend of mine explains that for many people travel is a social activity that they feel the need to do with another person.
Well, I can relate to that. For years before I was able to travel on my own, I did everything to convince, seduce or beg people to go with me. When they didn’t, I sniffed around to see if I knew anybody living where I wanted to go. I seriously didn’t like to travel on my own as if I even knew how. Traveling with people has its perks. You can share with them the ins and outs of your temporary new life and the old life you left at home. You can rely on them. Travel partners make you feel safe in an unknown environment.

Some of my best memorable trips were made with others. There is no way I would hike by myself through the rough terrain of western Romania, walking over the bottomless hanging bridge, visiting isolated villages up in the mountains while fending off wild dogs with sticks on the way. I wouldn’t hustle in terribly vast and icy deserts of Iceland with just me, sheep, and volcanic ash. I feel physical and mentally pain just thinking of doing all that by myself.

Some traveling is best done with others. We are, after all, social animals who, by nature, feel the need of belonging and bond with one another.

However, some traveling is best done on our own.

A therapist or self-help guru would say that you shouldn’t depend on other people for your happiness. People change. They’re not with you always. You must seek within yourself to be happy and find your happiness.

On the same note, a travel therapist or travel guru would say that you shouldn’t depend on other people for your adventure because people change, at least their mind. You must seek within yourself to be adventurous, curious and find your adventure. Does it make sense?

I don’t know since when we bought into the growing media-influenced danger associated with foreign places. We hesitate to go alone because of the possible risk that might or might not be real. Maybe it’s not even about psychology. It is biology.  The unknown often put us outside of our comfort zone and bring about a great sense of uncertainty which generate a strong threat or alert response in our brain. The human brain doesn’t like that. Uncertainty is like a pain that we all want to avoid.

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But sometimes you have to do it alone.

When you can’t wait for people anymore, who turn you down at the last minutes. And instead of being some place you wish, you end up walking around the same street you’ve been hundreds of times before.

You’d learn to travel alone because many people like to plan far ahead, and just sometimes you feel the urge to keep moving, to be somewhere not knowing in advance when and where.

You’d learn to travel on your own because while friendship lasts forever, travel deals wouldn’t, not the kinds that slash off 70% off the original price or charge only one euro to fly to another country.

You’d learn to travel alone because frankly, nobody gives a damn about an impoverish, a schizophrenic country called Kosovo no matter how much you assure them once they’re there they will find a piece of their soul.

You’d learn to travel alone because while others gush over the south of France, the coast of Spain, the ancient Italy, or the islands of Greece; you day-dream about the modern exile in Siberia.

You’d learn to travel alone because traveling is a discovery process. “Arriving at each new city, the traveler finds again a past of his that he did now know he had: the foreignness of what you no longer are or no longer possess lies in wait for you in foreign, unprocessed places,” – wrote Italo Calvino. Certain things need to be left at home. When you travel with people that you know, you bring this reminder with you.

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When I was young, I had a travel co-independency issue and always felt the need to travel with someone. When became a bit older and got used to the idea of traveling, I still wanted to travel with someone. That someone often was an ex, who, being European, possessed a natural travel gene in him. On top of that, he was the planning and organizing-type of person. We went to places together, and he did all the work. Then I lost that traveling anchor a couple of months before Christmas. He wanted to do things separately. “But what about Christmas? We planned to go together,” I freaked out. “I don’t feel comfortable to travel together.” He shrugged off. “You can’t do this. You want me to travel by myself?” I fumed. “I don’t want to do it by myself.”

But I didn’t want to stay home either. Christmas gave me the blue and bluer if I stay put. As long as I was somewhere else, I would be alright. By then I knew how to plan and organize. I picked Spain and quickly put together a two-week plan to backpack around the country. At least I didn’t have to worry much about being alone. Loneliness is not something you have to worry about when you’re around the Spanish or people from the Mediterranean, who are quite open and temperamental by nature.

On the way back home, I had a connecting flight in Brussels, Belgium. This was an accidental event which preceded a series of unrelated events which eventually led to my quest to see every country in Europe.

“You never walk alone” is a song sung by many football clubs around the world. (Football matches are not always about testosterone-loaded males throwing beer bottle and picking fights you know.)
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on walk on with hope in your heart
And you’ll never walk alone

But sometimes you have to.

To start your journey not rosy and inviting enough to others.

To work on your project not as clear-cut and well-defined.

And hopefully in the end when you come out, you’ll never have to walk alone.